Hiya folks!

A lot of things has happened in the past few months, some of them were good, unfortunately most of them were bad - but even though I sometimes feel sad or depressed I am not giving up and fighting!

After my grandma has broken her hip I had to resign from my job in order to take care of her - it was a hard decision for me, but there was no other alternative, so I did what I should and overall, I am happy I did it. My grandma is feeling much better and even though she doesn't walk, she's smiling, talkative like hell and happy grandma. Of course, there are days when she's sad or she drives me nuts - especially when she's waking me up on 3 AM and demands her fav movie on DVD or just wants to talk till morning... I woke up around 7 or 8 AM so when we talk during the night, later my grandma is suprisingly not sleepy at all, while I fall asleep on the floor with my dog as a pillow...

Having one salary less in our home budget made life even harder for us, but I hope it'll be better in future. What else can we do, right?

My lectures started a while ago - thanks to my scholarship I don't have to pay for my studies - but after hearing what we're gonna learn this semester I doubt I'll still have my scholarship... Seriously, our dean has gone nuts! There are two groups of students and this year we have him teaching us 7 subjects out of 10. Horryfing. He promised us to "kill us with knowledge" and he wasn't joking, as we found out at the first lectures... We have tons of things to learn, it's a nightmare - when I asked why the other group has 1/10 of what we have, our dean explained that they're dumb so they get worse professors while we're smart enough to meet our dean's expectations... He said "now you see how lucky you are" - sorry, but I wanted to smash him with a shovel. I'd really prefer to be dumb

Really, this semester is gonna be really hard for me - I barely have time to read books and no matter what I read I can't focus on it and later don't remember a thing... I am probably just very tired. Oh, well...

My mom has caught a very bad flu and is sick for two weeks now and doesn't feel better - everything is on my head

My art is getting worse, I am afraid. Not that it was spectacular to begin with but anyway, I just don't feel like making art, which is not good because making art is my only stress reliever... Without making art... I feel that whatever I draw is crappy and it IS - believe me. Some kind folks suggested reading more books on anatomy, I read them and I feel I know even less... is it normal or I am that untalented?

Ah, well.. I need more sleep...

Thank you so much for your support, for your kind words and comments - it means a lot